What about our Fear?
A letter and practice for those of us who are feeling afraid.
If you’re just joining us, welcome! You’re reading short letters written to my past self as I navigated darkness and difficulty. The letters can be read on their own, in no particular order. However, if you’d like to start at the beginning, you can find that here.
You are well-acquainted with fear. Your body understands terror. Even still, you will try to talk yourself out of feeling afraid. You’ll do your best to rationalize your way out of anxiety, but your body is holding and remembering what you weren’t ready or able to face before (along with all of the new things that get piled on top.) Your instinct will be to run, and then when that doesn’t work, you will freeze and numb. The invitation unfolding here is to gently allow your body to feel, express and move through the fear. You will learn to appreciate the signals–a racing heart, tense shoulders, and shallow breath, as ways your body is working to get your attention.
Your invitation is to listen, notice, and gentle in. In the beginning, you will try to work through all of this on your own. After that doesn’t work (again and again), you will come to accept that you need the support of a trusted professional to partner with you in the listening. The tools and practices you learn will go with you into the future where there will be cause for more fear and anxiety. You will come to see that they are not your enemy. They are signals, working to get your attention while protecting your most vulnerable parts. A day will come when you learn how to listen to your fear, to feel it, learn from it, and then lead it back to peace. This will happen over and over again so don’t be alarmed. This is part of the reality of living with your unique experiences in a world mixed with horror, grief, beauty and goodness.
You will find courage as you learn to allow God to accompany you in your fear. You will come to understand, by experience, that “do not fear”1 isn’t a commandment you’re failing at, but a kind reminder of what’s possible when our life is lived in awareness of Presence. You will learn to pause, to check in, to breathe, and pray2…
Breathe in…
Even when we feel
Breathe out…
Afraid
Breathe in…
We are held and known and loved
Breathe out…
By the One who holds the world
Some days will require you to give this practice intentional focus and resolve. Some days you will feel carried by grace. Most days will be a mixture of both along with a growing trust that all shall be well3 regardless of what you do or don’t do. You will come to trust more and more that all of us are truly held and known and loved.
As always, take what’s helpful and leave the rest.
Karissa
Jesus truly had much to say about our fear. I am sad to see that it’s been twisted into a way of shaming us when we feel afraid. Instead of reading those passages as invitations to intimacy with God, we’ve often been taught to feel ashamed of our fear, which leads to disconnection.
If you are new to breath prayer, I have found it to be a wonderful way to integrate all of my centers of knowing (head, heart, and body) with prayer. I wrote this specific prayer a couple of weeks ago when the events of the world left me feeling a sense of helpless horror. As you breathe in, you pray the words in your mind, then breathe out praying the next phrase. Continue through the prayer and repeat slowly and mindfully as needed. Feel free to change up any of the words or write your own.
All shall be well, and all things shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well. -Julian of Norwich
Thank you! 💜